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Dec. 4th, 2008

05:13 pm

Today, Mr. McKee, (huge dumbass) my government teacher, said, "Test will be Thursday, it will be mostly questions." I had a good laugh at that.

My life feels tragic. In a way that makes me feel like I cannot breathe. Things that all people go through. Am I weaker because I feel as if I cannot go trough them? I am weak because I got myself into these situations in the first place. I feel for people too much. There isn't a recipricated answer.

I'm never too sure on why things exist. And why I cannot convey them in accurate words. I wish to paint a beautiful picture, but I'm no artist. Or write an entrancing short story, conveying all the ideas, thoughts, and feelings I want. But I am no writer. I begin and shortly am stuck. There is no middle, perhaps a decent end, and when reread, the whole thing altogether sucks.

Ah, ranting. I'm done now. There's nothing really else to say.

Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: Sufjan Stevens

Oct. 16th, 2008

04:43 pm - Math Class

How is it that I feel emotions so much stronger than the people I observe around me? My life is a tragedy. Sometimes I'm so angry, I physically feel like I'm turning into a dragon and my heart is snarling. If it's not that I feel my emotions stronger, than it's because people hide them better than me and if that's so, then how come I can't hide them as well as them?

No matter what, I am different from the people around me. Everyone has Stability. I don't. I go crazy once every other day, if not every day.

I thought I found my soul mate in my best friend, Pete. But even though he says he feels the same about the world, he can deal with it. I snarl, while he can calmly explain whatever is on his mind. I cry all the time and embarrassingly in class. I've never seen him cry in my life. We're not soul mates. We just have the same ideas on the world.

I feel separate from people. From friends, peers, family. And sometimes I think, "If life is this terrible on a daily basis, how will I manage my life until the day I die?"

I am in math class and my teacher is such a cunt. All of my previous female math teachers are cunts. Because math is unimportant to me, it's a stress I refuse to deal with. My problem is that I care about everything else. Every. Single. Thing. Else.

Current Mood: emotional
Current Music: Rilo Kiley

Jul. 1st, 2008

08:46 pm

Your result for The Commonly Confused Words Test...

English Genius

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

Take The Commonly Confused Words Test at HelloQuizzy

Jun. 6th, 2008

08:27 pm

I feel so selfish when I understand how good, wonderful, amazing, my life is - and how much I have; Yet I feel crazy and get depressed - neglecting it all for no reason.

Current Mood: Torn
Current Music: Radiohead - "We Suck Young Blood"

Apr. 13th, 2008

09:36 pm

There's so many times where I visit livejournal, write out a whole entry on what I'm feeling or what I want to be, where I want to be. And then delete it because I don't want to worry anyone.

Nov. 15th, 2007

08:03 pm - My baby's got the bends..

I've been feeling down lately.

Really really.. down.

And I have no idea of what sparked/triggered it.

Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: "Maybe Not" on the "You are Free" album by Cat Power

Oct. 14th, 2007

08:17 pm

Is it normal to feel nervous and anxious about entering relationships? I'm losing sense on what you're supposed to feel when you like someone. You know, those butterflies and shit. But Is it really just the same as anxious sufficating feelings?

I avoid kisses. I don't know how to just let go. I'm so nervous about everything. I sometimes can't be myself. Is it normal to not know how to be yourself around the guy you like?

I want things to work out. But I don't know if they will when I can't control anxious nerves.

I sound like a dumb mixed up teenage girl. But it's totally appropriate. Because I am one.

Current Mood: nervousnervous
Current Music: Radiohead - In Rainbows

Sep. 15th, 2007

10:17 am

I had a nightmare last night that the Heroes second season had been going out for a few months and I didn't know, and I had missed every episode.


I have a cold as well, it's going around the school and such. I'm getting better though. Still sucks though.

Current Mood: sicksick
Current Music: Simon and Garfunkel - The Dangling Conversation

Sep. 13th, 2007

10:16 pm

Wood type: apple
Length: 12 inches
Core: Dragon Heartstring

get your own wand!

I got this from my sister. I like my outcome.

Current Music: Animal Collective - Strawberry Jam

Sep. 11th, 2007

11:51 pm

I'm having a bloody nose right now.

I NEVER have bloody noses. This is odd. Too bad I wanted to sleep. Oh well, I'll stay up so I can wish Pete Happy Birthday on facebook and be the first one!

I had a pretty nice day today. Reason: nothing bad or dramatic happened today.

Current Mood: sleepysleepy

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